Disclaimer: I’m perfectly fine with my instructor, still work on the gym’s marketing and have no complaints 😀
When you walked in your gym the first time, what did you expect your instructor to be?
A good teacher?
A good practitioner?
A good competitor?
A person with an high moral?
Somebody who understands you?
Somebody who can follow you through your BJJ journey?
A master of life?
A perfect individual with no flaws?
The freakin’ Dalai Lama?
You can guess how this is going to go from the questions’ excalation.
When I walked in my gym for the first time I didn’t even knew what I was signing up for, oh please!
But I surely knew what a teacher – more than this, the person who I wanted to be taught from – should act like and represent.
Before finding my academy, I had given sport a chance by trying a franchising gym (the ones that are very cheap and open 24/7) that was hosting a free week trial. After the first day (where nobody told me what to do except an instructor who asked some people to partecipate in a circuit that – now I know – was just as useful as punching yourself in the face with an artichoke) I was asked in the most despicable ways to sign up, with such a stubborness and underlining of my bad shape I barely managed to go away without telling them all to fuck off.
When I tried my academy I signed up after a brief conversation with my to-be BJJ instructor. He just described what kind of sports and in which hours were hosted, how much it would cost, what was the current offer for new joiners and reassured me about the fact that everybody could practice martial arts. He would allow me to practice BJJ AND kickboxing for some time, paying for 1 of the two only, in order to find what I liked most. That was enough for me to sign up a 4-months membership.
I think this episode underlines what I valued most: this person was not just interested in my money – of course he liked them (I like my money too) but he also wanted me to find something I liked, to try and well, if I don’t like it that’s just cool. He didn’t want to sell me something no matter what.
Of course I think my instructor must have some moral. I wouldn’t accept to be taught by somebody who is a thief, a murderer, a rapist, a tax evader (yes even if I’m italian) etc.
I must feel safe if we have a private lesson when none is around. I actually do. That’s just essential. You can read on Georgette’s blog about instructors who don’t behave this way and you wouldn’t feel safe with. It’s pretty unpleasant but please, take a look.
And yes, he must follow me good in my BJJ journey. This means a lot of stuff, from understanding how much I am willing to sacrifice to improve and what I’m not willing to give up to BJJ, how he can get the best from me, and teaching in a way I do understand.
Everything else is optional, and you’re gonna have pretty bad times if you think it’s not.
Yes, your instructor may get in the gym with a bad mood but, unless he tells you all to fuck off and go home, it’s not your business. He doesn’t have to wear a smile all the time, he’s not a waiter.
Yes, he may not be the person who’ll teach how to live your life but, guess what, he’s not supposed to be. Yes, BJJ can improve your approach to your personal life, but because of what YOU learn from it. Your instructor is supposed to teach you BJJ, what you make of it is your responsibility only.
Yes, he may not have accomplished much in his competitive career, if any (mine did but hey, Cicero Costha’s results cannot be compared to most top competitors and still he must be the best teacher out there).
Yes he might get angry for useless stuff, he’s not the freaking Dalai Lama I already mentioned.
And yes, he might not promote you even if you think you really deserve it. He might not give you the space you think you deserve. And maybe, you deserve it for real.
But you have forgotten why you got there in the first time: to learn BJJ. Freakin Dalai Lama doesn’t do that.
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